The Fuller Life Scorecard

Six Questions at 3 AM

The questions you have asked yourself
when the house is finally quiet and the worry shows up.

No wrong answers. This is a starting point, not a grade.
See where you are today and what to build from here.

At the end, you'll get your completed scorecard and the Special Needs Planning Starter Guide sent to your inbox — and you'll see where your family stands today. Your answers are private. If you'd like, Michele can review your results with you — no cost, no pressure.

6 questions 2-3 minutes Instant results

Legal Foundation

Did I build a plan, or do I just have a document?

1 — I keep meaning to start. I know I should. It is expensive and intimidating, and every time I sit down to start, I get up. I have a regular will from before my child was diagnosed. I named my brother as the one who would “handle it” in my head and never told him. 2 — I have something. I think. I have a special needs trust. It is part of our family estate plan, drafted by our regular lawyer. They said it would protect my child. When I asked them a real question, they could not answer it. I am starting to suspect they were filling in a template. I do not know what to ask next. 3 — I have started building the team. I have a ?standalone third-party SNT drafted by a special needs specialist, not tucked inside our family trust. I have named a trustee who has agreed in writing. I have coordinated my ?beneficiary designations. Grandparents have been warned. 4 — I have built the team. We are improving it. My ?Professional Trustee, my ?Trust Advisory Committee, my ?Trust Protectors with enumerated powers, my ?Care Manager. The roles I built check each other by design. I improve the plan with my team every 90 days through ?Fuller Circle. 5 — I built the team. The team runs the plan. The gold-standard team I built operates as I designed. My Trustee administers. My ?TAC meets annually. My ?Trust Protector is engaged. My ?Care Manager is active. I have stepped back. The plan holds outside the court system, exactly as I intended.

When my child becomes an adult

At 18, who can legally act for my child, and is the safety net actually safe?

1 — I am hoping nobody notices. My child is past 18 and I have done nothing. The hospital, the bank, the school, the ?SSA, all of them now treat my child as a legal adult. I still sign things at the doctor. So far nobody has stopped me. I do not know what ?guardianship, ?conservatorship, or ?supported decision-making even mean. 2 — I know I need this. I cannot face the paperwork. I know I need legal authority and a benefits plan. I do not know which authority is right. ?SSI, ?SSDI, ?SSA, ?A.B.L.E, ?IEP, ?MA, ?DDP, ?MI Choice. None of this makes sense. A $2,000 birthday gift could collapse a safety net I do not yet understand. 3 — I have authority and benefits in place. I have the right legal authority for my child, matched to their actual needs and abilities: ?guardianship, ?conservatorship, ?POA, or ?supported decision-making. I have analyzed ?SSI, ?Medicaid, and waiver eligibility. I have set up an ?ABLE account. I understand the $2,000 rule, mostly. 4 — I review it annually. My successors are named and ready. I review my authority documents annually. I have named successors who are informed and willing. I monitor benefits quarterly. I have analyzed ?CDB and pursued ?waivers. I have built oversight into my plan, so I catch changes before they become problems. 5 — I built it. It holds without me. I have tested the authority structure through real decisions. My benefits coordination is automatic. My successors have made decisions while I was here to observe. The safety net holds across ?SSI, ?Medicaid, ?waivers, and ?CDB — and it would hold if I stopped paying attention tomorrow.

Lifetime Money

Will the money last as long as my child does?

1 — I am hoping for the best. I do not know what 40 years of care will cost. I assume Social Security will cover it. (It will not.) Nobody has done the math. My 401(k) names my child as a contingent beneficiary, which I now understand is bad. I have a life insurance policy from before my child was diagnosed. I have not looked at it since. 2 — I have savings. I have not done the math. I have savings, life insurance, maybe a house. I have not modeled lifetime cost. My financial guy is great, but he does not do special needs. I have been meaning to ask him about it for three years. The unknown keeps me up. I tell myself we will figure it out. 3 — I have a plan on paper. I have worked with a special needs financial planner. I have modeled lifetime cost in three scenarios. I have identified my trust funding strategy. I know my ballpark numbers. The plan adds up on paper. Real life has not stress-tested it yet. 4 — I have it funded, coordinated, and monitored. I have funded lifetime care across scenarios. I have coordinated my insurance, investments, and trust funding. My financial plan and my legal plan reinforce each other. I review them annually. I sleep mostly through the night. 5 — I built the structure. The structure runs itself. The financial plan I built runs on its own cadence. My Trustee and my financial advisor coordinate without me. Benefits offsets are calculated annually. My child will not run out of support, and I have confirmed it with the people who would have to make it work without me.

My Child's Life

Does my child have a real life of their own, or just the one I have built around them?

1 — We are alone together. I cannot bear another disappointment, so I have stopped trying. My child's world is our house, the school, and the doctor. The provider who let us down. The activity that ended in tears. The friend's family who quietly stopped including us. I tell myself it is safer this way. I am exhausted. I am their whole world. They are mine. 2 — My child has providers, not people. My child has a school team, aides, therapists. None of them are my child's friends. I have lost track of who my child would even be friends with. The grief of what I thought their life would look like sits in my throat. I do not know how to start. I have not had coffee with a friend in months. 3 — I am letting my child try again. I have started letting my child out of the cocoon I built. There have been good days and rough ones. I am learning that disappointment is part of building a life, not a sign that we should stop. My child has a recurring activity they look forward to. I see other people, too. 4 — My child has a life. So do I. My child has activities they have chosen, people they look forward to seeing, a community that is starting to recognize them. Their world is not just our house anymore. I am back in mine, too. I have friends I see for reasons unrelated to my child. We are no longer alone together. 5 — My child's life is theirs. Mine is mine. My child has relationships they have built, a community that is theirs, and a life that does not revolve around me. They are loved by people who have chosen them. I have stopped being the only person who knows them. Both lives got fuller when I let go.

Plan in Practice

Where does my child live, and what happens in the first 72 hours when I cannot?

1 — Plan B is also me, older and tired. My child lives with me. My long-term plan is to take care of my child in my home until I drop. There is no binder, no cloud folder, no emergency protocol. If something happens to me tonight, the people who love my child will be googling at the hospital. Plan C involves a sibling I have not consulted. 2 — Good intentions, scattered everywhere. I have thought about housing, supported living, aging in place. I have not made decisions. Documents, medical records, passwords, care instructions are scattered across my filing cabinet, three email accounts, and a shoebox. I am not sure any of it is current. 3 — I have written it down. My Advocacy Plan portal holds it. I have drafted Day 1, Day 7, Day 30 emergency protocols. I have identified housing options and a funding path. I have set up my Advocacy Plan portal as the secure home for emergency protocols, documents, contacts, medical information, and care instructions. I could brief a stranger in 30 minutes. 4 — I have tested it. My team works from one place. I have rehearsed the emergency plan. I took a real vacation as a trial run. My team executed using my Advocacy Plan portal as our shared operating manual. Housing is on a clear timeline. I ran a fire drill. I found three things wrong. I fixed them. 5 — I built it. It is ready before it is needed. The plan I built works. I have confirmed it. The Advocacy Plan portal I built lives without me at the center: my team keeps it current, my successors know it. I am no longer the only safety net. My child will be cared for, not just maintained, on the day I am no longer the answer.

Me

Am I still in there somewhere, or did I disappear into the caregiving?

1 — I am gone. I have not been out to dinner, just the two of us, since my child was born. My long-term plan is to take care of my child in my home until I drop. My only break is cleaning the bathroom. I catastrophize at 3am. My identity is caregiver, nothing else. I feel guilty even reading this question. 2 — I know. I am stuck. I talk about getting help. I do not get help. Every time I let someone in, I take it back the same week. I tell myself this is just what parenting a child with a disability looks like. My marriage is a logistics meeting. My own plans are always last. Asking for respite still feels selfish. 3 — I am letting people in. I have respite that I actually use. I have accepted that preparing for my absence is an act of love, not abandonment. I am uncomfortable. I am doing it anyway. I had dinner out last month. I did not check my phone the entire time. The world did not end. 4 — I am trusting what I built. I took a real vacation. The team I built handled it. I have friends I see for reasons unrelated to my child. I am starting to remember I am also a person, not just a parent. Worry exists. It does not run my life. 5 — I have stepped back. So has the worry. I have built a life alongside my child, not in spite of them. I still worry, because I am a parent. But I have traded panic for peace of mind. My child is loved by their team, in addition to me. I enjoy my child. I have a life.

A Moment

That was the hard part.

If your eyes are wet, you are not the first parent to take this scorecard at 3 AM and feel the weight of it. Take a breath.

The next few questions are about what you want to build from here. There are no wrong answers, and you can skip any of them.

— Michele

Top 3 Insights

What I see now that I did not see before

Insight 1

Insight 2

Insight 3

All optional. Tap Continue to skip.

Top 3 Actions

What I want to address first

Action 1

Action 2

Action 3

All optional. Tap Continue to skip.

Priorities

Three last questions. These are for you, not for anyone else. Answer if helpful. Skip if not.

What is the one priority I want to focus on this year?

What is my one priority for the next 90 days?

What would be different for my family if I did this?

All optional. Tap Continue to skip.

Last Step

Tell me where to send your results.

I'll send you two things — your completed scorecard so you can come back to it, and the Special Needs Planning Starter Guide that pairs with it. Then your band reveal opens below.

Your completed Fuller Life Scorecard
The Special Needs Planning Starter Guide

First Name *

Email *

Your answers are private. Only you and Michele's team will see them.

The Fuller Life Scorecard

Where Your Family Stands Today

Six questions. Your honest answers. Here is what they mean.

Crisis Mode

Surviving, not planning.

Your score: 0 out of 30

1

Crisis Mode

2

Treading Water

3

Making Progress

4

Fuller Circle

5

A Fuller Life

What This Means for Your Family

A Note From Michele

Friend — I have been doing this for 28 years. I have helped families across the country protect their child's lifetime benefits, without losing what they have built or who their child is.

If your eyes are wet from this scorecard, you are not alone. Most parents have not had anyone to talk to about this. I am happy to be the first.

Whenever you are ready, I am here.

Michele P. Fuller, Esq.

What's Next

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